What Do Biggie Smalls and NDemand Have In Common? #Contest!
Can you rhyme? For this blog post you better hope so! Grab your inner Biggie Smalls and a suitcase because it’s contest time!
The very generous NDemand Affiliate Network has teamed up with yours truly to give away a sweet prize for their Puerto Rico Affiliate meetup in November.
The Prize
NDemand will cover up to $600 in the winners flight fee’s to Puerto Rico!
So if your from anywhere in Canada or the United States you pretty much have your flight there & back 100% covered by NDemand.
It’s a great chance to Network with tons of top affiliates in Puerto Rico.
*If you can’t make it to Puerto Rico you can opt out for an iPad2! (not too shabby!)
Contest Details
Whoever comes up with the best flow about their affiliate campaigns or internet marketing in general will win. [Post your rhyme in the comments below!]
- Keep in mind the final votes will be decided by the blog readers and most readers are affiliates! So a rhyme related to affiliate marketing just may get more votes!
Rules/Judgeing
- Stay SIMPLE with your rhymes. Try not to go over 50 words, you’ll lose captivation!
- 2 entry’s per person
On Wednesday at 1am myself and some rhyming specialists will pick the top 5 and post them on the blog for a final top 5 voting from the public!
NDemands Puerto Rico Meetup Details
The details are finally here for our November 19th, 2011 Puerto Rico Meetup! Prices have been arranged with the Ritz Carlton , San Juan for November 18th-20th. We have a fun day of relaxing and networking planned on this trip and look forward to all affiliates and advertisers who are able to make it the day’s plans are:
Schedule:
7:30am: Start boarding outside of Ritz Carlton for Catamaran
8:00am: Leave for Catamaran
9:00am: Check In at Catamaran
10:00am: Departure
11:00am: Arriving at (Icacos, Palominito, Lobos, Tortugas o Palomino)
12:00pm: Lunch
1:00pm: Departure from (Icacos, Palominito, Lobos, Tortugas o Palomino)
2:30pm: Sailing to Villa Marina
3:30pm: Arriving at Villa Marina
4:30pm: Back at Ritz Carlton
6:00pm: Board for La Rumba Dinner Cruise (sails around the Bay of San Juan)
6:30pm – 9:30pm: Still working on exact times, but entertainment, dinner and open bar will be provided
Lunch/Buffet Menu for Catamaran
Sandwiches: Fresh Bread, Cold Cuts, Swiss cheese, Tomatoes, Onions, Pickles, Mustard etc., Pasta Salad, Fresh Fruit Platter, Green Salad, Peanut Butter & Jelly, Fresh Vegetables, Tuna Salad, Snacks, Cookies, Cheeses, Crackers, Chips & dips
Unlimited drinks: Sodas, Water, Ice Tea, Fruit Punch, Lemonade, Painkillers (Drinks), Rum Punch, Rum & Coke
Party Cruise Dinner
3-hour ride with DJ entertainer
Menu: Chicken breast with Mushroom Sauce, Tenderloin, Rice & Beans, Fresh Salad & Flan
Appetizers: Assorted Dumplings, Meatballs in Sauce & Mini Egg Rolls
Open bar: DonQ Limon, Dewards, Finland, DonQ, Beefeater, Coors Light, Medal, Budweiser, Red Wine & White House, Sodas, Juices
More details at: http://www.puertoricomeetup.com
If your looking to do a mix of networking, and relaxing in a new exciting environment this will be quite the interesting meetup! Now go put on some Biggie and get your rhymes going! Top 5 rhymes will be chosen Wednesday at 1am!
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Polls
Top 6 Affiliate Rhymes (NDemand Contest) VOTE NOW!
- Derek Lester (65%, 2,167 Votes)
- V (32%, 1,078 Votes)
- Bill (1%, 46 Votes)
- Garrett (1%, 21 Votes)
- Sean (0%, 11 Votes)
- Stu (1%, 10 Votes)
Total Voters: 3,333
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side note: it doesn’t necessarily have to rhyme, but it has to flow!
WHITE BOY ON THE MIC, what what.
*cue background music*
Stand the fuck UP because it’s about to go DOWWWWN.
These mothafuckin campaigns ain’t gonna build themselves ya know
Heh, yea I got an affiliate offer for ya
*cue beat*
Whenever I place an ad it goes Click Click Convert
And whenever I see a group of honeys I feel the urge to
split test that skirt
Don’t hate because I’m outbidding you
My campaign is just optimized the way it’s supposed to
I’ve perfected my campaign process
I throw up a test on facebook and see the potential for profits
It’s here I figure out the right demos and adcopies
Then I bring that shit over to TrafficVance and stunt a little bit
Split test landers an’ tweak colors and shit
4 headline tests later and I’m on a mothafuckin roll
Scaling campaigns like there’s no tomorrow
Quit trippin cuz you got banned from Goog
They ain’t the only traffic source that can buy you some food
Though it might make you feel better to know
that I slapped those motherfuckers right back and banged their hottest ho
She said my quality score is a 10
White labeled my account and lets me advertise Acai again
I’m a jack of all trades
And master at many
You outsource your creative thinking to noobs while I’m scaling to Adready
In the end it’s all really easy.
If you wanna succeed, you gotta work on that brain of yours
Sharpen that shit so you can win these wars
Lucky for you there is a solution
Tune your brain skills into the top percentile
Train with lumosity brain games. Click here to create a free profile.
*** and the crowd goes wild ***
Fin
hahaha amazing ending
The Merchant
Well, I’m a lookin at the reeports in mah interface
merchant dashboard overloaded with links to place
cos affiliates maxxin out on my EPC
an all the other players they be jealous of me
Writin promos fo my publishers like Shakespeare
Widgets savin time so I have no fear
I’m managin my program like the merchant of Venice
survival of the fittest publishers be playin tennis
cos they relevant an busy, traffic nonstop now
or they gotta diversify their portfolio.
When I make a new coupon an I send it out
like one a Tyson’s pigeons I have no doubt
that mother come right back payin homage too
free to love me or leave me an spend life in a zoo
yeah got my people covered an they safe as houses
makin that nut with they hands on they mouses
competition’s non-existent an I got no respeck
other bitches in my vertical performin like dreck
now we be hittin Q4 like a pig at my door
an my superior commission it’s sweepin the floor.
Stacking money like it’s free, easy as 1 2 3
..but it’s not, that’s what you don’t get, i work 14 hour days and it ain’t enough yet
Biggie Biggie Biggie…
Can’t you see….
Sometimes AM’s words just hypnotize you
But I don’t fly with those flashy offer ways
Cause networks try to play with my pay days.
Guess that’s why they broke, and I’m still paid.
By @BrianHawkins
Passport ready to drop 5 years multi-cultural, media buying, PPC & SEO knowledge at this global affiliate game we all play.
ok, so I know I am ineligible to win because I work at NDemand, but here is a tight rhyme for rhyme sakes. If you win, I will buy you a drink in Puerto Rico.
Yo
My name is Tony Cohn and I work for Mike Pacheco,
or should I say Jose Canseco,
because our programs go yard.
making money with ndemand aint that hard.
3 steps to affiliate success,
Step 1: Find some good offers to test
Step 2: Pause the boo boo
Step 3: Holler at me
It aint that hard to go commando
like Ian Fernando
as that money is in reach,
you could be chillin on a Puerto Rican beach!
Whaaaat! NDemand in the house! Affiliate Summit 2012!
Internet marketing is all about thE swag
Make alot of money fill your cash bag
We work hard on the internet all day
best beleive at the end we gettin PAIIID
and you know when we go clubbing we get Laaid
SO get up with me and start a Marketing Raiiiddd
WROAHHHH-ha
This is T-POW affiliate,
my clickrate is the chillah aid,
i check the sales to killah height,
mind-background-sound to in-sale fait.
My campaigns beatz the captcha,
Popped up that rocked cha,
My sales that got chaa,
My pocket that judged yar.
Internet marketing here we go
time to advertise and make some Dough
Forget about that 9-5 job IM full time
sitting on the beach with a corona and lime
People get jelous when they hear how much we make
This is a real job, some people call us fake
Promoting offers every single day
starting in january ending in may
then I go on vacation i do things my own way
This is too much fun to pass up. Fair warning: I’m as white as the driven snow.
I’m knocking out haters like TKO
You all make small paper like SEO
My stacks real big like you don’t know
Now I’ll watch you all bite my white boy flow
What competition? I raise my bids til there ain’t none left
Drop banners, killer landers, I’m the king at POF
Technique to split your wig and leave your pallete cleft
I smack the noobs down and make them exit, stage left
I made split testing a science, I run flogs in defiance,
While you amateurs cry and get slapped for noncompliance.
I’m the Affiliate Saint, my stats made your girlfriend faint,
When I crush my competition I do so with no restraint.
Peep the Members Only Jacket
I’m in a higher tax bracket
You should quit now
because we both know you can’t hack it.
ohhhh shit son!
Damn, Garrett and Bil both brought the heat! We need a 2nd round of them two to decide the winnar!
I included an affiliate link in my rhyme so people need to step it up!
I can do this all day, this is too much fun.
Forget the FTC, I’m like “fuck tha police”
Don’t think I’m well know? Check the press release.
My crew roll deep in Escalades and Excursions
All paid for when I stole your conversions
Remember when your mom bought them Acai pills?
That was off of my link and it brought me two bills
You shop at Dollar General and buy no frills
I’m buying donkey rope chains and titanium grills
My tracking servers are faster,I’m a statistical master
You can pray for me to fail but you’ll need help from your Pastor
Go back to sleep, dreamin bout watches with diamonds
While I stack Kruggerands and buy small islands.
I gotta admit…
“My tracking servers are faster,I’m a statistical master”
is a pretty dope line
This be A to the D from the A-U-S //
Making a test for the fresh new ads on my desk….top //
I hit stop, before my profits drop //
Take second and see what’s hot-or-not //
The big-breasts, big chest and sick legs //
Up and down like spring-beds //
These be burning my creds //
But they also making me richer //
Plans to ball’ off the richter //
Mind if I borrow pics of your sister ? //
If I was a cliker I’d click-her //
High CTR is the aim //
Better get on top of your game //
Performance, profit – not fame //
I wasn’t born to entertain //
So I guess i’ll use my brain //
Just train, the mind & body //
Insane money to gain //
Facebook presents a pain //
Their approval team is lame //
Making me go insane //
But in life, no-loss no gain //
I recently quit my day-job //
Taking off overseas to take-on //
The challenge of travel & making bacon //
I hope that I can stay long //
Time to see the world //
25 and need some change //
If you try to stop me I’ll fire like a pixel //
…Straight into your brain //
R.I.P Biggie
I got that Black Hat, White Hat, in and out of state money
I make about a G a day just e-whorin off of these dummies
I’ve been working, wearing the same underwear for 5 weeks straight
Trying to bring my campaigns international but I can’t translate
See I do this thing for a living, get some acai from brazilians
Wake up in the morning, brush my teeth and making millions
Came from nothing, I started posting ads on craigstlist
Now I’m putting on Pink Lambourginis on my wishlist
I do it all just to sit back and collect that moola
I got dimes on my campaigns that’ll make you drol-la
My parents think that there’s something wrong with me
And I made a killing on POF advertising E-Harmony
I got offers that made me rich just by testing your IQ
See I work from home baby I can still make money with the Flu
Uh huh its all good baby bay buhh uh
It was all a scheme
I used to read Black Hat magazine
Affiliate Summit in Vegas ridin in the limousine
Postin links on my wall
Promotin Weighloss, BizOpps, Mobile, Marley Marl
I let my ads rock til my budget popped
Smokin campaigns all around the clock
Way back, when I had the back links on racks
With the seo to match
Free Credit Reports, duh-ha, duh-ha
You never thought that affiliates would take it this far
Now I’m in the limelight cause my money tight
Time to get paid, splittin tests under the shade
Born sinner, started off as a beginner
Remember when I used to promote Acai for dinner
Peace to other products like the Green Tea
Diet pills pay more than being an EmCee
My campaigns blowin up like I thought it would
Call the crib, CPC, same hood
Its all good
And if you don’t know… now u knowwww
This is the winner!!
Am I really the winner?? Don’t play around with me!! lol
LINK 2 VIDEO!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSLCjUPQuwA
they trying to make money like me,
all they do is fail,
and i got these girls screaming ya-hoo,
cause im a hot male (hotmail),
im building up my empire and i dont see it caving,
and ill cut their hair bald, if i catch that network shaving,
all you can do is look, but you cant see,
cause you haters aint got S-H-I-T,
on my EPC’s,
all these affiliates mad cause im going ham,
if you dont like it you can all eat my spam,
sit back and run some offers while i sip some wine,
if they dont pay me, F a lawyer, imma get my 9,
then i set up more campaigns and make the grands,
i dont run what doesnt work, cause i run whats Ndemand.
!!I RECORDED A VERSE… ENJOY!!!!
http://limelinx.com/files/8b48818fcf03d794f1974c52763a2b2d
dope!
I love it when they call me Big Poppa,
I’m an affiliate cuz its pays proper.
NDemand of the offers with high EPCs,
I break down my target audience right their knees.
And when I place my Facebook ads, I get so many LIKES,
But never leave my campaign running when my CPM spikes!
So if you want that hot network, check the NDemand crew,
We stackthatmoney all day son. You know how we do!!
So, this ends tomorrow Wednesday or next?
BUM BUM BUM BA-BA-BUM
BUM BUM BUM BA-BA-BUUUUUUUUM
ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN…………….. PART 2
Bill, you and V are just bitch ass partners
while the people who read my shit just got smarter
white hat, black hat, bitch hat, fag hat
I just hacked your Prosper202 account, suck that
Im here rappin useful shit
while all you mothafuckas babysit
watch your margins
keep yo baby mamma from starvin
CHORUS;
(and the colored girls go jacked ja-jacked ja-jacked ja-ja-jacked; repeat x2)
Yea I jacked your shitty landing page
What the FUCK are you gonna do about it
i went to affiliate summit to learn how to make profits
all i learned is my affiliate manager had soft tits
i dip my pen in the company ink
while your government grant offers get flushed down the sink
I do it right and Garrett won
you guys must have been trained by Anthony Morrison
CHORUS;
(and the colored girls go jacked ja-jacked ja-jacked ja-ja-jacked; repeat x2)
I called on everyone in this game
and you all just talk the same
Andrew, you smell like poo
take that shit to da zoo
your family members will be there waitin for you
all you came with that noob shit
fuck you, i’ll throw the mike down and quit
lol, I went in to straight battle mode on this one. I went full gangsta
*Youtube Video Of The Rap
==>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll61pWEbhzM&feature=channel_video_title
Marketing from the age of 9
first sold lemonade now im drinking wine
I use to be ballin but now im bill gaten
Go to the club yes everybody hatin
CPA king yes thats what the call me
I also sell ebooks for a small fee
Internet marketing here we go
Time to advertise and make some Dough
Forget about the real world job marketing full time
Sitting on the beach corona nd lime
People get jelous with all the money we make
This is a real job, some people call us fake
Promoting those offers facebook PPC
Stealth like the russian KGB
Black hat white hat it dont matter
All i know is my pockets getting fatter
I got connection from ryan eagle to Vito Glazers
There wealth will shock you like a tazer
Mr eagle owns EWA
Thats where all the ballers play
Eagle is sourin high
Celebrity status my oh my
Mr glazers boss of cpatank
Go there to make some bank
Vito holds it down
Somebody give him the gold crown
Internet marketing teen thats me
Play with more green then your parents will ever see
Owner of emillionforum
Thats where the money is pourin
Marketing green paper scorin
CHEAAAA BALLINNN!
Man good thing im not judging id be biased and chose the raps with Ndemand Affiliates mentioned.
I Been hustlin from a very small age
All my friends work for minimum wage
Feels good banking on the net
IM is like the best girl I ever met
Yo Facebook PPC and even SEO
Making that money building my cash flow
I might not be able to sing
But I can market myself
get to the top and spread my wealth
Black hat ya ready know im stealth
STACK-THAT-MONEY is the name of the site
Im seeing green while your seeing white
Counting that money till my thumbs turn green
Cuz im a mean, lean, teen, cash machine,
All you wanna-be’s get on my level
To me your just a small black pebble
Viral scripts bankin good
Number 1 marketer in the hood
Bring the flow bring the fire
fast pace money like a NASCAR tire
Little tip content is the key
Laughing your way to the bank like a G
Building links its all about the quality
That’s the number one policy
Some people swap links
I wouldn’t recommend it
Others buy links
Well I wouldn’t spend it
Take out the competition like trash
then watch your page rank raise higher then the gas
haha yeaaaaa here we go
1, 2, 3, to the 4,
all these secrets have you begging for more
This was just a little tease
Here’s my PayPal ill be expecting some fees!
YEEEEE SON BRAP BRAPPPP
Lol this is funny I always make up stupid raps about IM messin around; here goes haha
Yo I just got started in this IM game,
And in less than 2 months I’m far ahead of you lames,
I just grind and grind, never playin no games,
Slowly gettin more money than a lake gets rain
cuz this game is tough, like tinactin,
but most you niggas, is slackin,
thats why i see you in my rearview,
and stay steady passin..
So check it, my ctr? It’s crazy,
But yo ads can’t compare; You’re lazy,
Ignorant;dumb,
When i make an ad, those clicks come,
Conversions follow,
Rebilled auto,
And your just mad cuz ur bank account is hollow.
I just kick back, with some hash and a bottle;
Raise that budget, let that shit run full throttle;
Till facebook intervenes, stopping the flow of green;
So i make more accounts and do my best to stay unseen;
But why complain?
Thats just the game;
If it were easy, everyone would be doin the same.
Who’s better than this? Swimmin in a sea of PLENTY OF FISH/
my CLICK RATE, been great. Now its gettin me rich/
I used to sit on FACEBOOK, check out the chicks/
Now I’m running CAMPAIGNS, got em ACCEPTIN MY BIDS/
Need help get an A.M to lend a hand/
Shout outs to STACK THAT MONEY and N-DEMAND/
IAN FERNANDO got me in/
Seen his Affiliate guide and Opted-in/
Stop it kid, want to hustle then get on PPC/
One email blast, and it will go down like a CPC/
But I’m still tryna see mo cheddar/
November 19th I wanna be in Puerto Rico weather/
Just chillin in the sun, with liquor and rum/
twistin a blunt, dreaming of 6 figures a month/
Best competition ever. Thanks to Stackman and NDemand for this.
It was all a dream
I used to read shoemoney magazine
Ian Fernando and Mr.Rizvi in the limousine
postin stats on my wall
Every couple months ad tech,meetups show em how i ball
my ads pay rock want a screenshot?
chair tippin,and arm rest sippin’ on bull shots
Way back, when I had nothing but the amatuer match
With the hat thats black
Remember my first media buy’ ha-ha, ha-ha
You never thought that Derek Lester would take it this far
Now I’m in the spotlight ’cause I got right
Time to get crakin, blow up like some good traffic
Born funny, the opposite of bummy
Remember when i use have net 30s for money
Peace to Billy, Stevie Steve, Gabe C
Media Leadia, and My AM Kelli
I’m blowin’ up like i kno i would
Call Kelli, can you raise my payout she say
It’s all good ……
And if you don’t know now you know!!!!@!@!@
So I see video links and all that… so I recorded my verse that I submitted earlier, it’s now on video… check it… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSLCjUPQuwA
I thought the contest was running till wednesday of this week?
Possible to count that in? Been having internet issues all weekend!
http://soundcloud.com/eloquence510/chris-contest-5
Let me know what u think.
Thanks
Chris
Ndemandaffiliat dont pay there affiliates
They say that they have sent the check 2 month ago and that they dont care that I have not received it.
Is there anybody else who had similar experience with them?
Thanks